Saturday, July 26, 2008

MUNCHKIN'S SATURDAY CORNER Special - #66





Munchkin says:

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, people from Kentucky, Tennessee and West Virginia are no longer to be referred to as Hillbillies.


You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN – AMERICANS!

And furthermore,


Learn how to speak about women in a more politically correct way:

1. “She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – she is a ‘BREASTED AMERICAN’.”

2. “She is not a ‘SCREAMER’ or a ‘MOANER’ – she is vocally ‘APPRECIATIVE’.”

3. “She is not ‘EASY’ – she is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE’.”

4. “She is not a ‘DUMB BLOND’ – she is a ‘LIGHT HAIRED DETOUR OFF OF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY’.”

5. “She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – she is a ‘PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION’.”

6. “She is not an ‘AIRHEAD’ – she is ‘REALITY IMPAIRED’.”

7. “She does not get ‘DRUNK’ or ‘TIPSY’ – she gets ‘CHEMICALLY INCONVENICE’.”

8. “She does not have ‘BREAST IMPLANTS’ – she is ‘MEDICALLY ENHANCED’.”

9. “She does not ‘NAG’ – she is ‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE’.”

10. “She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ – she is a ‘LOW COST PROVIDER’.”

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. “He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – he has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY’.”

2. “He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ – he is ‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN’.”

3. “He is not ‘BALDING’ – he is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION’.”

4. “He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ – he has developed a case of ‘RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION’.”

5. “It is not his “CRACK” you see sticking out of the back of his pants – it is ‘REAR CLEAVAGE’.”