GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN
HAVE LEARNED:
1.) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2.) When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3.) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. Parents always catch the
second person.
4.) You can’t trust dogs to guard your food. Dog steals food
5.) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
6.) Never hold a dust-buster and a cat at the same time.
7.) You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
8.) Never wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE
LEARNED:
1.) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2.) Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3.) Families are like fudge … mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4.) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
5.) Laughing is good exercise. Its like jogging on the inside.
6.) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not for
the toy inside.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1.) Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
2.) Forget the health food. You need all the preservatives you can get.
3.) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re
down there.
4.) You know that you are getting old when you get the same sensation
from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5.) Its frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6.) Time may be a great healer, but it is a lousy beautician.
7.) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1.) You believe in Santa Claus.
2.) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3.) You are Santa Claus.
4.) You look like Santa Claus.
THE MEANING OF SUCCESS:
1.) At age 4, success is not peeing your pants.
2.) At age 12, success is having friends.
3.) At age 17, success is having a driver’s license.
4.) At 35, success is having money.
5.) At age 50, success is having more money.
6.) At age 70, success is having a driver’s license.
7.) At age 75, success is having friends.
8.) At age 80, success is not peeing your pants.
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