Some Saturday Funnies:
A Free Puppy
Hillary Clinton was driving through her neighborhood one day, and she saw a little girl who was giving away puppies that her dog just had.
Hillary declined and drove on. The next day Hillary drove past the same girl and decides to talk to her again. "You know what, little girl? I think I'll take one of those puppies after all, seeing as how they're Democrats."
The girl says, "I'm sorry Mrs. Clinton, but they're not Democrats any more. They're Republican now."
Hillary says, "They are? How do you know? As a matter of fact, how did you know that they were Democrats at first to begin with?"
"Well, just after they were born they were Democrats, but now their eyes are open," answered the little girl.
Hillary Clinton’s Universal Health Care Medical Dictionary:
Acute: Opposite of an ugly; Artery: The study of paintings;
Bacteria: Back door of a cafeteria; Barium: What doctors do to dead patients; Benign: What you are after you're eight; Bowel: Letter like A,E,I,O, or U;
Cat scan: Searching for a kitty; Cauterize: Made eye contact with her; Cesarean Section: Neighborhood in Rome
D & C: Where the White House is; Dilate: To live too long;
Enema: Not a friend; Fester: Quicker; Fibula: A small lie;
GI series: A soldier ball game; Hangnail: A coat hook;
Labor pain: Getting hurt at work; Leper: A wild cat;
Malaria: Shopping place; Medical staff: A doctor's cane; Morbid: A higher bid;
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates; Node: Was aware of;
Pelvis: A cousin of Elvis; Post-operative: A letter carrier;
Rectum: It almost killed him; Rheumatic: Amorous;
Secretion: Hiding something; Seizure: A Roman emperor;
Tablet: A small table; Terminal illness: Getting sick at the airport; Tumor: More than one;
Urine: Opposite of you're out; Varicose: Nearby; Vein: Conceited
See ya’ll next week, Lord willing
and the creek don’t rise
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