SUNDAYS TWO-CENTS WORTH- #17

HELP! I’m drowning in a sea of fools:

Federal officials have relented in allowing a grandma living in a Florida senior living center to enjoy a traditional angel atop the center’s Christmas tree, after first banning ornaments bearing any representations of the Nativity, Jesus, an angel or other religious symbols.

Hey Federal Morons, I have a news flash for you; IT IS CALLED A CHRISTMAS TREE! What did you idiots have in mind, to deprive some senior citizens their right to a Christmas celebration?

How about this one: Michael Jackson pronounced NORMAL!

Harriette Cole, the “creative director” of Ebony Magazine, says that she spent a day and a half with Michael Jackson during a photo shoot and interview for the magazine, and she claims “he came across really kind of normal.

Harriette, IF THAT FREAK IS NORMAL, then I must be MOTHER THERESA.

If this one doesn’t make you want to scream “Holy S#&T!” nothing will. Get this, please pay close attention:

Usually, the Roman Catholic Archdiocese and a Reformed Jewish congregation have worked closely together on many social issues, but that is about to come to an abrupt end. It has come to light that the Central Reformed Congregation has offered the use of their Synagogue for this Sundays “ordination” of two women in defiance of the Roman Catholic Church.

The two women who claim to be Roman Catholic—Rose Marie Dunn Hudson, 67, and Elsie Hainz McGrath, 69,--are to be “ordained” by a former NUN!

You brainless twits, how do can you really believe that you are priests after the ‘ceremony’ is over? First of all, Canon Law of the Roman Catholic and the Orthodox Catholic Churches forbid women priests. Second, even if they did allow women priests, you would NEVER be considered valid because a “former nun” does not have the canonical ability to “ordain” anyone, only a validly consecrated bishop has that power. Third, a valid ordination to the priesthood cannot take place in a Jewish Synagogue. What the hell planet are you two nut cases from? Just because you get your sorry butts run over by a car, does not make you a Ford.

The only real bright spot in this of fools is the feeling of euphoria I get from the knowledge that the King of Spain told Hugo Chavez to “SHUT UP!”, right to his pudgy little face. WAY to GO! Your Highness.

Here is what took place. On Saturday, at a summit of leaders from Latin America, Spain and Portugal, Chavez triggered a heated exchange when he repeatedly referred to the former Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar as a “fascist”.

Aznar, a conservative who was an ally of President Bush when he was Prime Minister, “is a fascist” said Chavez in a speech at the Ibero-American Summit held in Santiago, Chile. “Fascists are not human. A snake is more human.” Chavez said.

Spain’s current socialist Prime Minister, Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, told Chavez, during his allotted speaking time that he (Chavez) should be more diplomatic in his speech and respect other leaders even former leaders despite political differences. “Former President Aznar was democratically elected by the Spanish people and was a legitimate representative of the Spanish people”, Zapatero said, eliciting applause from the other heads of state.

Chavez kept trying to interrupt, but his microphone was turned off. Spanish King Juan Carlos, who was seated next to Zapatero, angrily turned to Chavez and said, “Why don’t you shut up!”

Hey Hugo, if I were you, I’d follow that advice. If you don’t, you just might choke on that foot of yours that you seem to have a habit of shoving in your pie hole every time you talk.