My name Dr. Muhammad Al-Arifi Kamel-Sheet and by the Grace of Allah, I am come to teach you men the proper way to treat your wives and future wives.
You must admonish nasty, nagging women – once, twice, three times, four times, even ten times if she is too stupid to get it. If that doesn’t work, refuse to share their beds. Bring goat to bed so that there will be no room for dumb wife.
And if that don’t work, beat wife. First you scream “I kill you woman”, then beat her. But, never hit wife or future wife in face, that is a no-no.
Beating wife in face is forbidden, even when it comes to animals. Even if you want your camel or donkey to start walking, you are not allowed to beat it in the face. If this is true for animals then it is even all the more true for wives.
You must say to nasty, lazy, loud mouth wife; “Woman, it has gone too far, I can’t bear it anymore, I kill you.” Then you beat the biatch, but you must beat her lightly so as not to make her face ugly. It is ugly enough, that why we make them wear burqah.
You must beat her where it will leave no marks that one can see, and you should not beat her on the hands, she needs those to cook and clean house. You should beat her where it will do no damage, and do not beat her like you do an animal or child --- slapping them right and left.
It is most unfortunate that many men only beat their wives when they are mad. This is not good because then they will start to kick and stomp them or punch them like they hitting a wall. To avoid this you should beat wife even when you are not mad. This is good because it reminds the woman who is boss.
Remember, new wife like a fine pair of shoes, they first must be “broken in” before they are any good. Muslim marriages very happy because Muslim men know how to treat woman. We would love to come to your country and make you all Muslim then your men be happy too!
The real Dr. Muhammad Al- Arifi, a Saudi author, dispenses this type of marital advice on Saudi and Kuwaiti TV. Isn’t he wonderful?
“Abouna” Gregori
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