MUNCHKIN'S SATURDAY CORNER # 35

What Do Dogs Think About?

Some people think that dogs have blank
minds and that we are not capable of
abstract thoughts, but boy do I have
news for you.

Our minds are very active, and man you should see some of
the stuff that goes through my furry little head.

Let me just say;

“If you’re thinking what I’m thinking then you’re mentally

Deranged:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking you should have your

Mind rearranged.”

Actually, what I am trying to convey is that there are times when I start to opine on some of the stupidest things and then I just get carried away. Here, let me give you an example;

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to call up a mental hospital? It would probably be something like this:

The Mental Hospital Phone Menu:

“Hello, and thank you for calling the State Mental Hospital. Please select from the various options menu.”

If you are obsessive- compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask some one to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality disorder, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, just stay on the line so that we can trace your call.

If you delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696.

If you are bi-polar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up, our operators are much too busy to talk to your silly ass.

If you are menopausal, put down the gun, hang up, turn on a fan, lie down and cry. You won’t be crazy forever.

If you are blond, please don’t press any number, you will just screw it up any way.

Thank you for calling and don’t forget, next week is National Mental Health Care Week. Remember to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

Support mental health or we will kill you.

If you think that is bad, you should see what your dog is thinking about you!

See what I mean? Now I am going to have to lay down for awhile to give my brain a rest, so I will see ya all next week, Lord willing and the Creek don’t rise.