Hey folks, it’s me “Munchkin”. Yea, I know, I’m a day late and a dollar short, but yesterday, my Daddy was so angry so I let him pre-empt my space so that he could vent his spleen so to speak. He got mad about a bunch of homos invading a Catholic Church during the Mass, dressed in mock nun costumes and then the bishop gave them Communion. He is ok now, so I am doing my Saturday post today, and boy do I have some news for you.
Alien Alert:
Did you know that
Most humans can’t tell them from real humans, but we animals have a special sense about these things and we can spot them a mile away. How? Well they just don’t quite fit into normal society. Intellectually, they are below par on the human scale. In other words, they are dumber then Jack Schitt. The following are some examples of what I am talking about:
Alien Alert:
From a woman in
I had to have my garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told me that one of my problems was that I didn’t have a “large” enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute then said that we had the largest one Sears made at the time, a ½ horse power. The repairman shook his head and said: “Lady, you need a ¼ horse power.” I responded that ½ was larger than ¼. He said, “No its not, 4 is larger than 2”. We haven’t used Sears repair since.
Alien Alert:
From an Office Manager in
A woman who had worked for me as a secretary had to place an order, over the internet, to OFFICE MAX for some office supplies. While she was chatting with the sales rep, she told him that his store was on fire. He told her that there was no fire at his store and everything was fine. She responded that indeed there was a fire at his store because smoke was coming out of the back of her computer. I don’t know where she is working now.
Alien Alert:
From
My wife and I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars here!” the neighbor said, “I don’t think this is such a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”
Alien Alert:
From
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the guy behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry but they only served ice berg lettuce.
Alien Alert:
From
While shopping at a Wal-Mart, my wife placed one of those small plastic separator bars between her purchases and those of the customer in front of her at the checkout counter. When it was her turn, the cashier picked up the separator bar and began examining it, turning it over and over in her hand. Finally, she asked my wife if she knew how much it cost. My wife said she had no idea, whereupon the cashier said that she would have to get a price check on it. My wife told the cashier: “Don’t bother; I don’t want to buy it any way.”
Alien Alert:
From
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport security guard asked me: “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled and said that is why we ask.
Alien Alert:
From
The stoplight on the downtown corner of our main street buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker who asked me if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Horrified, she responded: “What on earth are blind people doing driving in the first place?!” This ding bat was a probation officer in
Alien Alert:
From
At a “Good-bye” luncheon for an old and dear co-worker, who was leaving the Xerox due to “downsizing” Our manager commented cheerfully: “This is fun. We should do this more often.” Needless to say, not another word was spoken as we all just looked at each other with deer-in-the-headlights stare.
Alien Alert:
From
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of herself; she couldn’t understand why her computer wouldn’t turn on. And to think she is a deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s Office.
Alien Alert:
From
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been accidentally locked in the car. We went to the service department we found a mechanic feverishly working to unlock the driver’s side door, as I watched from the passenger side; I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey” I said to the mechanic, “It’s open on this side.” His reply: “I know, I already got that side.”
STAY ALERT! They walk among us.. And they REPRODUCE
C ya all next week, Lord willing and the creek don’t rise
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