Are You A Republican, Democrat Or A Redneck?
The following is a little test to help you decide.
You are walking down a deserted street and two small children. Suddenly a Muslim with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities and shouts ‘Allahoo Akbar’, raises his knife and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock 40 cal., and you are an expert shot. You have only seconds before he reaches you and your family.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
Democrat’s Answer:
“Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him to inspire him to attack me? Could we run away? What does my wife think? My kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible that he will be content with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hang on, could my family get away while he is stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street deserted? We need to raise taxes and have a paint and weed day to make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing. I’ll have to discuss this with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.”
Republican’s Answer:
BANG!
Redneck’s Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click. . . . (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.
Daughter: “Nice grouping Daddy. Were those the Winchester Tips or the Hollow points?”
Son: “You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?”
Wife: “Your not going to take that to the taxidermist, are you Pa?”
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