FORGIVENESS, WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN?
During this season of forgiveness, this season of great joy, there is one thing that many Christians tend to forget, concerning forgiveness, and that is that before forgiveness can be extended to the wrong doer, it must be asked for.
For some reason, which I cannot fathom, the vast majority of Christians today, have the idea that we are to forgive everyone who has done us wrong regardless of their conduct, this notion is false. The Bible points out that to obtain forgiveness from God or man; one must feel remorse and be penitent about his/her actions and then they must “ask” for forgiveness.
If a church teaches that we are to forgive all who have offended or hurt us, regardless if they asked for our forgiveness or not, they are doing a huge spiritual disservice to both those who have suffered a hurt and those who have inflicted the hurt. Every example in Holy Scripture teaches that whenever someone was forgiven of their sins or a debt, that forgiveness was always preceded by their asking for it and by their demonstrating a clear desire to repent, to turn away from their sinful behavior. As long as one continues unabated in their sinful and/or hurtful behavior, then they are not ready to be forgiven. Even Jesus said: “Go and sin no more.” After all, how can one be forgiven when they have not repented? There can be no repentance without remorse and a lack of remorse shows that the individual is not sorry for their actions.
Another thing that we as Christians should keep in mind is that the act of forgiveness is a personal matter between the one doing the forgiving and the one being forgiven, and no one else. So many people today want to make a big public showing, but let’s see what the Bible has to say:
“If therefore thou art offering thy gift at the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee, leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way, first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift” (Matthew 5:23-24).
Also in Matthew:
“And if thy brother sin against thee go, show him his fault between thee and him alone, if he hear thee, thou has gained thy brother” (Matthew 18:15). There is nothing there that states that it should be a public event unless their sin was publicly committed.
Another factor to keep in mind when it comes to forgiving and/or being forgiven is that there are those who think that once they have been forgiven, everything should be as it was before. WRONG! Often that seems to be the motivating factor for some who seek forgiveness from another, a restoration to a former association.
It will do one well to remember that forgiveness does not mitigate consequences for the act. There are consequences to sin and no amount of forgiveness can take that away. Damage has been done by the wrongful act and the consequences must be paid. For example, if someone murders another, the penalty can be very harsh. The one who committed the murder may be forgiven for the act, but the penalty still must be paid. However, if the wrong doer is truly repentant, the penalty might not be as harsh as it would have been had no remorse been shown.
I urge each of you to always bear in mind that if someone has done you wrong and they come to you seeking forgiveness, you are obligated, as a Christian, to extend that forgiveness. By the same token, if you have caused harm or hurt to another, you are obligated to not only offer an apology to those you have hurt, but also, to humbly and with a contrite heart, seek their forgiveness.
+ Gregori
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