MONDAY MADNESS #7

Illinois the Loser in the Death Battle:

The citizens of Illinois thought the case was closed when a convicted murder, Mark Howard, was sent to prison ten years ago with a sentence of ‘life with a minimum of twenty-five years’.

To the dismay of the state department of corrections, Howard died during the power outage of August 2003 as the life support system that was keeping him alive the past seven years lost power.

Howard actually should have died in 1997 when he was accidentally crushed in a freak accident at the prison. Since that time, his severed head has been on artificial life support so that he can technically serve out the minimum 25 years of his life sentence.

Howard’s family is in the process of suing the State of Illinois for breach of contract. They claim, in court records, that the sentence was a binding contract and provided a guarantee that he would live for at least twenty-five years from the date of sentencing.

Currently, the lawsuit is in appellate court, as the state is appealing the verdict from district court which awarded Howard’s family $35 million in damages.

Yale to Offer Janitorial Sciences Course:

Due to the growing need for graduate level janitors, Yale University has joined the growing list of ‘ivy league’ colleges to offer the JD or ‘Doctorate of Janitorial Science’ degree program.

This intensive six year program is designed to provide highly skilled janitors that will be able to pass the new Federal Janitorial Administration license exams. Federal licensure of all janitors is to take effect in 2008 as part of Homeland Security, and will require 500 hours of undergraduate instruction in the field by a certified program instructor, and the passage of an exam.

Yale has reported a three year waiting list for the program has already developed.

“Abouna” Gregori