"JUST HITTING ANOTHER BRICK WALL"
Accepting Personal
This Post is a follow-up to my post last week titled:
Why isn’t God treating me fair? If you haven’t read it,
click here: > 
Often many of us feel that our lives are empty and things just aren’t going our way. Very often, this is due to the fact that we are hell bent on doing things our way instead of seeking the guidance of our Creator. We forget that our way may not always be God’s Way.
But, far too often, there is another contributing factor as to why our lives become so messed up and far from what we desire. It is failure to accept personal responsibility for the choices we make in life.
What is Accepting Personal Responsibility?
Accepting personal responsibility is:
Acknowledging that we are solely responsible for the choices we make in our life. Yes, there are many factors that control who we are as far as our gender, our race, how tall we are, the color of our hair and eyes, etc. These factors are inherited through our genes. Also, our environment plays a large role in our physiological and psychological make-up. However, God created us with free will and we have the choice of how we will use what He has given us and what paths we will follow in life.
Accepting that we are responsible for what we choose to feel or think. Do we choose to hold resentments toward those who have hurt us in someway? Do we choose to hate someone for whatever reason? Do we choose to go through life feeling “Why me”? Do we choose to go through life feeling that we just aren’t good enough so why try? Or do we choose to offer forgiveness to those who have hurt us, choose to understand the differences in others, and choose to work hard toward the goals we have set, no matter what the obstacles? These choices are strictly up to us.
Accepting that we cannot blame others for the choices we have made. We are each individuals with a free will. Just because our parents may have been divorced, or the fact that we may have been beaten, sexually abused, or had an alcoholic or drug addicted parent, etc, nor saying “The Devil made me do it” are no excuse for the bad choices we make. We do have the ability to choose a different path in life.
We must learn to tear down the mask of defense or rationale for why others are responsible for who we are, what has happened to us, and what we are bound to become. We must start to develop the rational belief that we are responsible for determining who we are, and how our choices affect our life. Then, our churches, schools and we as parents and grandparents must begin teaching personal responsibility to our children and grandchildren.
We must come to the realization of the fact that, contrary to what all of the commercials, self-help gurus and the feel-good theology put forth by many Evangelical-Charismatic ministers tells us, we are not entitled to things just because we were born. This means pointing the finger of responsibility back to ourselves and away from others when we are discussing the con- sequences of our actions. To deserve any thing, we must earn it or merit it in some way. No body owes us any thing.
We must also learn that we are our own best cheerleader; it is not reasonable or healthy for us to depend on others to make us feel good about ourselves. We must recognize that as we enter adulthood and maturity, we and we alone, determine how our self-esteem will develop.
We must stop feeling sorry for the “Bum Deal” that we imagine that we have been handed and start taking hold of our life and giving it direction and reason. We must start to protect and nurture our own health and emotional well being. This means letting go of our sense of responsibility for others. Once our children are grown, we are no longer responsible for their behavior or choices. We must learn to cut the “cord” and let them take responsibility for their own lives.
We must learn to take an honest inventory of our strengths, abilities, talents, virtues, and positive points. It is important that we let go of blame and anger toward those in our past who did the best they could, given the limitations of their knowledge, background, and awareness. Working out anger, hostility, pessimism, and depression over past hurts, pains, abuse, mistreatment, and misdirection, is of the utmost importance. And, we must learn to seek the guidance of Him who created us.
Failure in life to accept personal responsibility will put us at risk of becoming overly dependent on others for recognition, approval, affirmation, and acceptance. We can become chronically hostile, angry, or depressed over how unfairly we have been or are being treated.
We can be overwhelmed by disabling fears about ever taking a risk or making a decision. It can lead us to be unsuccessful at the enterprises we take on in life, and in personal relationships. We can become emotionally and/or physically unhealthy, which could lead to addiction to unhealthy substances, such as the abuse of alcohol, drugs. Or it can lead to unhealthy behavior such as excessive gambling, shopping, sex, smoking, over-eating or working, etc.
We may become unable to develop trust or to feel secure with others, or we may develop a guilt ridden need to rescue and enable others in our life. Worst of all we begin to turn from God and curse Him and say: “How can you say I am responsible for what happens to me now or in the future? I am the victim of fate, luck, politics, greed, envy, wicked and jealous people, and other negative influences that have a greater bearing on my future than I have. No matter how hard I work, I will never get ahead. I am who I am; there is no changing me.” Yeah sure, tell it to the hand because the Lord ain’t buyin’ it!
“Abouna” Gregori
"JUST HITTING ANOTHER BRICK WALL"
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